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News Clip: Unidentified Air Assault
ANN (Europe)—Free Western news agencies are reporting rumors of a mysterious, fast-maneuvering aircraft that shot down a NATO military jet over a Belgian forest near the Luxembourg border. Observers claim the attacker was unmarked and unidentifiable.
ANN has received no official reports of casualties, although a Belgian driver and his wife—a couple who own a bakery in the Bastogne area— reported seeing the fireball and no parachutes over the small Belgian town of Houffalize, north of Bastogne.
Official Belgian and NATO sources continue to deny the incident ever happened.
Unspecified police, fire, and civil aviation authorities in the region have reported receiving civilian phone calls about an exceptionally fast-maneuvering jet, which civilians described as being like a small UFO. The unknown aircraft had no markings and might be of a radar-stealthy variety despite its shiny skin. It allegedly tangled with the military jet over a forest near a sensitive Belgian air force base.
The aircraft, described by witnesses as a kind of golden, glowing UFO or perhaps a top-secret drone, was allegedly able to penetrate the base's defenses, coming from the direction of Germany and Luxembourg to the east. It evaded a missile fired at it, and stayed long enough to shoot down a Belgian air force jet before disappearing into cloud cover eastward. This is denied by government sources in Belgium and neighboring Luxembourg.
A corporate CEOC attaché in Brussels, who declined to be named, states semi-privately that the reports were a rumor based on a viral Internet video based on a computer game played by hackers. Nevertheless, ANN has independently verified from reporters on the ground that Belgian and Luxembourg military and police units have sealed off an area at the border, and rescue/recovery units have been seen entering the area with a mobile command post and other
equipment. A Belgian army ambulance was seen leaving the area without sirens or flashing lights, indicating there would be no survivors in the ambulance requiring emergency transport.
There have been unconfirmed reports of NATO military aircraft and ground units on high alert, sweeping the skies and mountainous Ardennes region in search of an unknown craft, which unnamed but reliable sources have described as being constructed with a so-called Intelligent Fuselage Skin, or IFS. This revolutionary new IFS technology allegedly enables a missile or aircraft to fly intelligently and faster, eluding attackers, while calculating optimal trajectories to home in on a target. Official NATO sources, responding to ANN inquiries, have denied the existence of any such technology—which, again, officials attribute to cartoonish pranking by elusive civilian gamers and hackers. ANN and ANN-EUR will keep you updated on all further breaking news.
News Clip: U. S. Army Deserter
ANN (Europe)—NATO and Interpol agencies across Europe have issued an alert for civil and military authorities to be on the lookout for a dangerous deserter, identified as infantry Sergeant Richard Buchan of the U.S. Army, who escaped from military judicial custody at a stockade in Mannheim, Germany. Buchan allegedly murdered a local police official in Huilongistan. He is also accused of perpetrating negligent and derelict acts resulting in the criminal loss of a combined military and corporate contractor unit while serving in NATO's last remaining Eastern war zone. He was being bound over for trial in a Staff Judge Advocate court in Kaiserslautern, Germany before his escape, facing multiple felony charges under the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ).
Buchan is reportedly on the run, alone, and dangerous. He may be suffering from psychological trauma resulting from head wounds sustained in an explosion on a highway in the oil-rich region of Huilongistan. He is said to have caused the deaths of ten fellow U.S. Army troops and contractors (or mercenaries) under his supervision, then covered up his crimes by shooting a local police official. He was captured on the run in Western Asia and brought to Germany for trial, but escaped from a high-security U.S. Army prison and was last seen heading west toward Luxembourg in a series of misadventures involving stolen cars, hitch hiking, and jumping trains under false identity papers.
Warrants circulating through Interpol state he is wanted in connection with negligence, malfeasance, and murder in connection with the shooting of a police official loyal to the Huilongistan regime, a close ally of global corporations, including former U.S. oil companies now part of global CEOC interests. Buchan's unit is one of the last former U.S. Army elements in the region, and being rapidly replaced by private contractor armies directly employed by global energy interests.
Our reporters, who filed this report, have been denied any information or interviews with corporate officials in Huilong, capital of the dictatorship, as well as corporate headquarters in Shanghai, Delhi, London, Paris, and Washington, D.C.
A brief statement of "No Comment" has been issued by the U.S. State Department in response to press inquiries.
A semi-official spokesman for the Corporate Republican Party in power stated at their liaison offices in CEOC's Paris office complex, "We are following the case with interest. Obviously, if Sergeant Buchan were not guilty, he would not be charged."
When asked if this contravened the moribund U.S. Constitution, whose language long required that a defendant be "innocent unless or until found guilty beyond a shadow of a doubt," the CRP spokesperson said, "You cannot always be literal minded. Sometimes you have to run with the spirit of the law, rather than the letter of the law. Our Supreme Court justices travel back in time and consult the Founding Fathers about what the words really mean, not what the antiquated language appears to say. We know what's best for the American people, and let nothing stand in our way to get done what must be done. That is why millions of citizens always rally at every event where our Leader speaks with passion and logic to their souls."
When asked who determines the spirit, if not the literally written words, the spokesman smiled but offered no further comment while slamming the door in a reporter's face. Attempts to contact the Supreme Court offices for comment went unanswered as well, except for a recorded commercial about the objective and unwavering scales of justice.
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